You claim I am perfect

 Compliments can get wasted and overused, you claimed,

but keep repeating how perfect my face is, its shape is the best,

how beautiful my smile is, and how I am the "la mas Bonita persona" you have been with,

you simply claim I am perfect.

I can assure you are wrong,

and it was the gorgeous landscape, delicious food and glorious prosecco

that tricked your mind into seeing me as perfect.

it is because you only see the beauty in people,

you have a filter for the flaws,

that converts my wrinkles into flawless skin.

You photoshop with your beautiful big bright eyes, BBB,

and also filter to rainbow settings and outstanding sunsets with your long curly eyelashes.

I told you I am not perfect and if you will know me better you will see my cracks,

so you let me go, to not ruin the gloriously bright and perfect image that you have of me.

You lost me like sand between your fingers.

Thanks for holding my hand

 While I am trying to hold onto every breath

and every second I can get,

when I hear the reverse countdown clock

ticking its way down to death,

thanks for holding my hand.

While I hold into life,

and am grateful for any extra deep breath

after the expiration date,

I am most grateful for you holding my hand.

I can fall asleep save knowing that 

if I don't wake up,

you will keep my legacy going,

my energy will stay with you,

as it passes from my body to your hand.

Enjoying every second we are connected,

for what could be the last time,

like if there is no tomorrow,

because there is actually no tomorrow,

we can just hold each other close,

so thank you for holding my hand.

I am aware it is difficult,

I am aware you are in pain,

different from my pain,

but valid as any,

so thank you for holding my hand,

holding me holding life.

Whispers that bring joy

 Laying painfully waiting for the anesthesiologist,

grateful that the hospital wall is thin as paper

I can hear you two whisper,

my past and my present/future.

Both sharing kind stories about me,

both hoping I will survive

both praising my positive bad sense of humor

answering the "do you have any allergy?" question

with "well, apparently I am not allergic enough to cancer..."

"LOL ball" you called me, and my ex confirmed

that is an accurate depiction of me.