At this age, I thought I was done learning,
but you proved me wrong,
and you guide me to keep learning,
to keep on going.
You are teaching me patience,
my limits and silly expectations,
how to deal with new experiences,
even if there are frustrating situations.
Because the reward is sharing time with you,
because there is no goal but just an enjoyable journey,
walking hand in hand, skipping with you
like teenagers again, all happy and shinny.
From a very young age,
women are thought to be caring and compromise
women are the ones who should cure wounds,
caress and bring back to life broken hurts and limbs.
Even if women get slapped on one cheek,
they tend to put the other side
and power through the pain
in order to not hurt anyone else.
They force the smiles from the prefrontal cortex,
but they wish someone would make them smile
purely from the lymphatic system,
to feel real, natural and care for... and to stop the nonsense compromising.
Does he have any red flags? You asked...
Tons, I replied, he has a red banner yelling "danger",
and he laughed and we bonded.
We found similarities in experiences,
we enjoyed finding red flags
and hiding them under the sand,
hoping that the sea will go back to a relax state,
that the tide won't go insane again
and swallow us with all its intensity
We both saw the red flags,
we both ignored them,
and we both enjoyed the fresh water
until the salty water took our breath away.
A long time ago,
as a fairy tale started, I gave you the power to make me happy,
by default, I also gave you the power to make me sad.
It was not your responsibility but it was your prerogative
for me to feel free of guilt, to put the pressure on you
to let my own responsability go tentative,
Iit was nice to care for someone and have someone care for you...
However, the force is within me, nourish me and showing the path,
a path far from you and what my expectations were,
you can't make me happy, only I can,
you can't make me sad, only I can.
I thought you were controlling me,
but it was me who gave you the remote control
and it was running out of batteries.
I am sorry for her, but I am super relieved
because you are not my problem anymore.
Your depression and negativity won't touch my sunny days,
your twisted view of the world you have messed up my life,
your victimization of the things that happen to you
because you prefer to not be responsible
won't affect my daily life.
It is done and done,
and it gives me freedom,
not listening to your complaints
to your constant negative feedback,
to your judgment and control.
You are not my problem any more.
One day all this pain will be gone
one day you will stop crying
one day these memories won't hurt anymore.
I promise you this grief will be over,
the dead that was heavy on your heart
and didn't allow you to breathe properly
will be just a sad memory.
One day the pain of physical separation
will be just a silly memory
that would have transmuted into something else
something that has no power over you
neither over your emotions.
One day you will be free,
and in complete charge of your emotions,
just keep rowing.
