Trying to understand why someone didn't chose you

Your value is not given by other's appreciation,

however if it would be by their attention,

you will be a millionaire

but there is something there, inside,

that takes the appreciation away,

and they lose interest with time.

I wish I could help you to understand,

why someone didn't choose you,

why did they let you go,

why did they cheat on you?

it is maybe the wall you build around you,

to protect yourself,

to not accumulate more traumas,

to defend the sanity that you work so hard to keep,

to not feel pain again.

Just your smile

 I tend to say silly things and make weird connections,

and when they make you smile,

your shininess makes me bright as well.

Your smile is like the sun giving away warm and caring,

the features of your gorgeous face just get enlightened,

like a cozy hug and a time-stopper.

Making you laugh is my mission and the only thing I want,

it turned into an obsession and love crash,

just your smile for breakfast, lunch and dinner,

to sing a lullaby for me and put me to bed.

Just your smile, born from happiness,

Like Afrodita coming out all radiance from the shell and the foam,

just your smile is what makes the world more beautiful.

Superman

You were supposed to be my savior,

You said you will always be there for me

And you will bring me coffee to bed every morning 

And tea on a cold night.

Your blue eyes once I saw green,

Changed as often as your kindness,

Your kryptonite was attachment,

And your superpower was to make me feel butterflies in my stomach again.

Your superhero landing always took me by surprise,

Appearing at most unexpected moments,

Rocking the (my) world and saving the (my) day.

Muse

 From a shiny smile to bronze skin,

you were my muse to work on me more

to be better, fitter, and smoother.

I want you to know me better

 I wonder if you are my “happy ending”,

My forever and ever,

My prince enchanting

Me forever.

You claimed you wanted me to know you better,

And that I was already perfect,

This is so suspended as a blank letter,

Producing a stupefaction effect.

Are you my promised one?

The one I was waiting for

Or will all these be another ninja smog bomb

That will explode when I least expect it.

Proceed with caution

 I blocked the entrance of my castle,

and I ran upstairs to the highest tower,

I admired life from here and it was great, 

the blue skies, the rainbows and the green hills.

I didn't let anyone in, I blocked any possibility,

but there you were, trying again and again,

asking me to let you in,

to go for a test run.

it is not you, it is my past trauma,

it is not that I am scared of you hurting me,

It is more that I don't want to hurt anyone,

because I hurt the person I cared about the most,

and the wound is still fresh and bleeding.

You saw my clean face, without makeup,

with my huge pores, more prominent than my flat,

with old clothes and even sick,

and you still wanted me.

When I was hiding from the rest, and rejecting any attention,

you gently waited, and shared your warmth and kindness.

But I must advise you to proceed with caution.

Four decades to catch up

 So much to tell you,

so much to share

a full world for you

a lot to dare.

All my memories,

all my experiences,

I want to open these experiences,

being vulnerable in this instance.

I have four decades to catch up with you

to fill in the gaps

and find the blanks with you

and turn our story into a win