You said:
“You are too amazing to be normal”
And that was the best compliment I was ever given.
I returned the gallantry, not out of politeness but for a true call to tell you how I feel:
“You are extremely gorgeous “
You look back at me with disbelief.
I wish i can give you my eyes, my hands and my full body so you can feel and see what I do when i am with you.
I hope with time I will be able to show you how handsome you are!
I have just met a woman who introduced herself as a poet,
My brain went immediatly into "WOW"
WOW because i am imprease at her self awareness and strenght
to do what she loves ina world where that is not verya ppreatiaced
WOW because in my internal monologo, I want to label myself as a poet too,
but I ack the self steeam
and I am too self aware that my writing might be have the quality to get to the
"I am a poet" statement.
Then i start the recollection... I have pubblished 2 poems,
I have won awards and contests, and I have read my poems in public...
but what makes a poet "A poet"?
I need to do propper research about this, as the scientiest I am...
and then, why I am proud to label myself as a scientiest but not as a poet?
because I went to universitiy and have a doctorate?
and I "do" science almost every day...
Then I let all this soliloquio go, and share my creative process with my new poet friend
and I am again in Awe, because she also have this feeling that she needs to put her thought in a paper,
it is like a fire that is going to ignate your brain if you don't get ride of all these words,
it is a burning desire to put all this ideas outside your brain,
and when it is done, when you had written everything you were regusgitating,
than peace arrives.
All the holes that things and people who are not here anymore have cause, are full now, nomore empty space and scary painful scars,
You are cover on scars and you are more beutiful without the make up you use to cover them,
dont waste your time, they are too deep, we can see them under the conselear, under whatever you called that powder.
the ones who are worthy will love you as you are, no veil needed, no fake smiles,
just be you as amazing as you are, and as messed up, and the real ones will love you,
we will love you, the real work in progress scared you.
The reflexion you see it might be reallity,
or it might be your perception.
Just step in front of the mirrow and open your eyes,
not only your physical ones,
but your soul too.
What you offer without any expectation,
is what it will come back to you.
That coffe you made for your lover first thing in the morning,
that food to go you cooked in a rush for them to have a snack,
all that will come back in a million gifts.
It had to die, to give the space to a fresh new start,
It has to be gone and evaporate because two things can not be in the same place at the same time,
And all moves all changes
So you need to open your hands and let it go, instead of holding it tight in your fist
Give a high five to life and accept it.
In the middle of a lot of hate speech, and people who don't care
and fake sweet porcelain teeth smiles,
In the midst of disappointment and lazy people...
I am trying to be at peace.
It is sooo difficult,
The peace keeps falling from my hands like sand.
Deep breaths and focus, enjoying the now,
following thousands of years old wisdom...
trying to find my compass and my path.
Stratign to get frustrated at people who are pieces of shit,
who are so narcissistic and self-centered
that makes me puke
My mother used to say about me: you can’t give her beautiful things because she won’t take proper care of them…
Was she right? I think so
I tend to buy cheap stuff because i now i can easily damage them,
Or break the whole thing due to my clumsiness.
I have the memory of this comment again and again.
And it might turned into a self fulfilling prophecy
In the rush of western life,
i found an oasis in Cambodia,
A peace pond, full of happiness and joy,
And fresh air where you can breathe freedom.
I ate vegetarian food at Peace,
And then have delicious chicken cashews at Heaven, all wholesome initiatives.
Problems as catalyst to change,
i needed hurt you for you to listen,
I wonder if
is this how god operates?
To keep you enjoying the now,
to keep you following the universe and surrender to it, to not fight it nor force it,
because that creates more negativity and pain.
You are force to change to grow,
To follow Rumi and Buddha beautiful lessons
There is a big gap between who i want to be and who i am,
i need to let go of a lot to be Buddhist,
the I am is not to reach nirvana, but just to be, in the now,
Because I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
This trip motto was “change of plans”, and in accepting what i can not change, I changed myself for the better.
Unexpected, like a magical adventure with a morpheos type
With no expectations and nowhere to go,
we shared moments of truth,
weird, deep, conecting, unusual, extremly special.
Your gorgeousness and kindness is one of a kind,
because is rare,
like a diamond in the progress to become shinner and perfect.
You look deep into my eyes, and saw me, the real me,
and you liked it so much, embracing who we are.
It is a special type of peace, like a calming exhalation
what I felt when I realised that I found you,
as the love of my life, and my partner in crime forever.
The peace to know that the search is over,
that you will welcome me with open arms
in a warm hug to embrace my failures and wins.
My life started without an outline,
my family created one for me
like castles in the sky, far far out of reach...
My teen self painted rainbows over the outline
and made them bridges to connect to the castles,
creating a bright city.
The outline was on and off,
merging with others and mutating.
Twice today, right on my face,
I was reminded of the deepest truth,
that you should love your enemies,
as the kindest people do.
Well, I am to have no enemies...
However, I had disagreements
with people, all over the world,
and some took it personally,
some good rejection as a knife to their heart
and probably they hate me.
I can not control how they feel.
I can only control how I feel
and what I do about it,
and follow the advice
to love your enemies,
even if it wasn't you who labelled them that way.
I would rather die than hit someone,
I would rather die than hate you.
When the healing is done,
and you are glowing again,
smiling like in the Eden,
you can see the strength you regained.
And love comes back again,
in an autumn breeze,
when the brown leaves are falling from the trees,
your power is coming back and flowing like a fountain.
The crystal clear blue looks like an inviting calm ocean,
or a heaven that is full of sweet treats,
been the Poseidon of the full devotion,
but it, in reality, is a rough tide that strongly beats.
I could see your storms and your Turner- paintings looking landscapes,
and I choose to see heaven instead of hell,
got trapped and did not know how to escape,
because the ambivalence turned into a cell.
Your eyes opened wide,
when you see me coming,
It was a blessed surprise,
when the hope was all gone
but the fun was still dancing.
Your smile goes from ear to ear,
as they said,
when you see me coming,
like a rising sun,
after a full night of dancing,
your energy renews and you are ready for another waltz.
Just your aura enlightens mine,
you coming to say hi, expands my grim
you make me funnier
you make me better
you make a bunny jumping around
ready to mate and make more bunnies
a happy bunny, a fun bunny
I love the person that you bring out of me,
I love the "me" I am with you.
I can melt in your arms,
I can let the music flow
and our skin glow
we are like love arms.
We are not fighting,
we are merging in peace,
we are flirting
with the rhythm and pace.
I can just let myself go, and breathe on you
breath your aroma,
and exhale in your soul,
like a free dove.
I crush on you in such a soft way
like a pillow that stops my neverending fall,
you show me the only way
and I follow because there is not other choice.
An I am free with you,
you are free with me,
we both crush and merge,
and make something beautiful out of it.
Half the year is gone,
in between smiles and tears,
Half the time I had to be better,
wasted on a bad apple smear.
It feels like waking up from a nightmare,
where I was fed ice cream here and there,
to keep me kinda happy as a blind mare,
but there was nothing more than abuse there.
I saw it as a princess dream at the beginning,
but it was tainted by trauma and evilness,
waking up with a smile because every day is a new beginning,
without a monster's cruelness.
A disturbed man can pass his troubled energy to others,
destroy their worlds and start ego wars,
but seeing you recovered and with a happy family,
2 year after your worst moments,
gives me hope that I will make it there too.
Your mental health was at it lowest
when you let the war of a man
bombard your land.
But spring came and flowers bloom
you work hard on getting peaceful inside and out
ins turbulent and rushing world
always at war and heavy workouts
to be back to the lord.
The peace that you have,
do not ever let it go,
for a man or a hive,
that peace, don't let it go.
Nothing is worth
as much as your peace.
